This simple word, these two small letters are almost always the hardest for me to say.
Someone needs something when I don’t have time. I’ma sked to take on something that is really good but it doesn’t feel right. People need me to help them.
Does this sound familiar?
What happens to me when I can’t say no or tell what I need is that I get incredibly stressed out. I feel like my throat is tightening. I can see my heart rate racing and my gut churns… literally. I start to get anxious and feel like I’m on a merry go round and can’t get off.
Does any of that resonate with you? We as women have a harder time saying no… They’ve actually done studies on it. We are the care takers and as such we feel we need to take care of everyone else even at our own expense.
We now know that not paying attention to what we need stresses the body. We know that stress is a major contributing factor to the onset of autoimmune disease. Hashimoto’s is an autoimmune disease. Connecting the dots here is crucial to the remission of your Hashi symptoms!
Setting boundaries is one of the major ways I am learning to take care of myself lately. But boy is it the hardest thing for me to do! What I am finding, though, is that with every time I make the decision to do what I know is night for me I get stronger. I feel better.
The hard part of this can be people believing that I am being selfish when I say no. They fight back. They push to get their way. The even harder part of boundaries for me is to not believe what they are accusing me of. I am not selfish because I take care of myself.
Setting boundaries is NOT a selfish act.
Here’s the thing… Well maybe two things. Most of the time it is better for the other person when I say no. When what they are asking feels like it is going to strangle me, this is not good for either of us. Many times people need to figure out how to solve problems themselves. Sometimes our self-care is a gift to them even though they may not see it right now. It very well may put them on their own healing journey.
And secondly, taking care of me helps me truly take care of others. When I am stressed because I’m doing everything for everyone else I get resentful. Please tell me I’m not the only one! When I’m in this no boundary state ANYTHING anyone asks me to do feels like too much and I get angry. It’s because I have given up my personal power… that gift I’ve been given to help me nourish myself. I can’t take care of anyone well when I’m angry at every request.
Setting boundaries is NOT a selfish act. And in the beginning you might overexercise it. That is sooo okay! Start to check in with yourself when people ask you to do things. If the request makes you cringe and hyperventilate then stop and listen!
Just Say NO! Your well-being depends on it!
To Your Health,