You Do Not Need to be Fixed

Something is bothering me, and I wonder if you’ve felt it.

It’s happening in almost every realm of our existence, social media, TV, advertising, even spirituality and self-help resources.

But probably, as a nurse practitioner, the place that bothers me the most is its evil tentacles have spread into healthcare – the place that is supposed to offer help

What bothers me?

The message that is coming at me from all sides that there is something wrong with me…that I somehow need to be “fixed”…that I’m not good enough

Have you felt it?

The message comes from various reasons:  I must need better hair, I’m not the right weight, I don’t have the right complexion, the right clothes, the right whatever

I’ve been noticing this more and more but when it really hit me, and I had to say something was when a medical colleague of mine was advertising a program and one of the selling points was “Learn why you FAIL in making new choices”

Those words smacked me in the face….hard! 

These words we throw around as sales tactics…Fail, Fix, Change, Be Better…they can STING and become deeply embedded in our psyche.  Soon we’re equating having a cookie with complete and utter failure!

I see this every damn day in the clinic.  Women who feel hopeless and lost because they just can’t seem to have the willpower to do the “right thing.”  I’m ashamed to admit that I had my part in this for several years when I rigidly prescribed diets that would fix things and whose standards would stress most anyone.

***Side Note – I am NOT here to say that nutrition is not important…please don’t mistake me for saying that.

But what I’ve found as I have been doing a lot of personal work is that these words:  failure, improve, fix, let me help you change _____________ (insert problem here) led me to feel less and less acceptable and more and more inferior.

It’s been a lifelong battle.  And I’m tired of doing it and completely fed up hearing these condescending words (usually coupled with a cluck cluck noise and shaking of heads).

The battle taught me to shut down the voice of my innermost self who knows what I need.

I stopped (if I ever had even started) listening to my body and what nourishment it was asking for.

I believed I wasn’t good enough.

I have felt like a fraud.

I have felt sub-human, unacceptable and not worthy of love.

Why?  Because someone else either wanted to sell me something, believed they need to fix me or had their own inferiority thing going (usually a combo of all three).

Enough, I’ve said.  I’m NOT doing it any more….NEVER AGAIN!

And I’m here today with only one purpose…to tell you that you too ARE good enough!  There is nothing wrong with you!

Are there things that may need some attention?  Of course.  Are there places in yourself that might need more balance?  Absolutely.  But that’s part of being human!

YOU are Beautiful…just the way you are today…right now!

Stop letting anyone tell you otherwise!

Don’t believe Lies from the Devil!

And one more thing…

I love you, my Dear Sister!

And Love is Perfect.

One Comment

  • Martha

    I Just read this at it hit me smack in the face! I was been told on a daily “that you are a whole lot of fucked up, and have so many health problems , why be with anyone”? These words were being said by another woman! I was being tore down daily right in front of my husband who stood there and said nothing! Emotionally, it hit my Soul pretty hard. Trying to recover from all the issues and emotional baggage that was laid upon me on a daily!

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